


Running for Freedom

by impossibleis_nothing



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-06 22:21:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3150428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impossibleis_nothing/pseuds/impossibleis_nothing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve decided to stop looking for Bucky and find Natasha. He wasn't sure what he wanted to find Natasha for.<br/>Natasha had been running. When Steve found her, she wasn't sure what to expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Captain America two  
> All rights reserved to the Marvel Universe.  
> Le Bristol is a real hotel in Paris.  
> Thanks!

Steve remembers watching Natasha walk away, as if it was yesterday. He was lost, not physically but mentally. Sam and him had been searching and searching. Bucky didn’t want to be found and yet Steve couldn’t accept that. The hardest part about it is Steve knew the longer he kept searching for Bucky, the chance of never seeing Natasha again grew more real everyday. When she handed the file on Bucky to him, he knew Natasha was holding back information. He had learned with Natasha that if she doesn’t want to say it, it’s better not to ask. He missed her, he really did. He wanted her help, but he wasn’t sure. Sam had decided to go back home for a bit and see his family. Steve was all alone. He knew he always would have a room at Avenger’s Tower waiting for him. However he could never go there without Natasha. Without her there was no Avenger’s. Steve decided to make a call.

“I need to know where she is. Please tell me you have some info on where she might be?!” Steve sounded distraught.  
“Well hello to you to Captain. I’m guessing your wild goose chase isn’t going as planned? Regardless Agent… I mean Miss Romanoff was last seen in London about a week ago. Barton had met up with her briefly,” Fury responded. His words however weren’t reassuring.  
“Thanks Nick. And no I’m putting one goose chase on hold to start another,” With that Steve hung up and packed a small bag. 

Natasha had led on a few things she dreamed about doing if one day she was free, to Steve. So when Fury mentioned Natasha had been in London he knew where she might head next, Paris. Natasha had told Steve she fantasied about strolling the streets of Paris listening to classical music. She even mentioned a tiny speakeasy style club she wished to go back to one day. Steve was aboard a plane to Paris within two hours. Several hours later he landed in Paris.

Steve had never really experienced the raw beauty of Paris. Right away he could picture Natasha city on a balcony sipping a glass of wine. Whenever she spoke in French Steve could see her eyes light up. Steve quickly checked into his room at the Le Bristol (one of Paris’s finest hotels), and headed out to find Natasha. He wasn’t even sure she would look the same, he doubt she would keep her red hair. He knew the best way to find her was her eyes. He was unsure of the name of the club Natasha would be at. Steve spoke very little French so his plans of stopping someone on the street were limited. He decided to into what looked like a souvenir shop. He was in luck the cashier spoke enough English to get his message across.

The Kind women at the till told Steve that the club was called Mer Morte which translated into Dead Sea. The lady wished him luck on finding Natasha. She reminded him that he was in the city of love. That startled Steve because he wasn’t sure if he loved Natasha. She was beautiful, smart, witty and charismatic. He remembered the kiss they shared on the escalator and how it made him feel. He knew Natasha could protect herself, yet Steve always felt he had to. Maybe he did love her, maybe she loved him. Steve would never know until he found her. So he button up his jacket and walked for twenty minutes until he was at the door of Mer Morte. Suddenly he realized how nervous he was, what if Natasha was angry that he was here? What if she runs? What if she wasn’t even there? Steve had no choice but to find out.

As he walked in he scanned the building. It was a small room with circle shaped tables and booths against the walls. At the front was a small stage with women singing. Along the side was bar. The place was dim and only the candles on the table were bright. He slinked into a booth at the back. He was almost in the corner when he realized a person was beside him. Startled he said sorry and began to slide out. When the person said sorry back however the voice rang in his head.

“Natasha?” Steve whispered, he couldn’t believe his eyes. She didm;t respond right away, Steve noticed she was waiting for the singer to finished her song. He quickly moved around to the other side of the booth. Getting a better look at her, he noticed her hair had been dyed blonde. She was wearing what seemed to be a very tight black dress, with a strand of pearls that fell just below her chest. Natasha then began to clap as the lady walked off the stage.

“You miss me Rodgers?” Natasha asked, she completely caught him off guard. But he could tell by the way she spoke that her guard was up.  
“How can anyone not miss you Nat?” Steve was trying to hold down his emotions, if Natasha could play it cool so could he. 

The way he said Nat made her feel warm. It was familiar, it was home. Part of her left because of Rodgers. He was to good for her, she needed him to grow. She knew he would go looking for Bucky and she couldn't let herself be exposed to that. That, Bucky or to her James was supposed to be part of the past. She used to think of him everyday until she met Steve. Now she didn't no what to think or feel. So maybe she wasn't running from the people who could hurt her, instead she was running from the people who loved her. 

“So, what are you doing here Steve?” Natasha inquired, she wasn’t really sure she wanted to hear his answer.  
“I want you to come back,” Steve persisted.  
“Come back where? New York? It’s not possible I have to stay moving,” Natasha knew her words would hurt Steve, but what choice did she have?  
“Why don't you slow down?” Steve was getting furious with her vagueness.  
“Because someone always spots you or catches up to you,” Natasha was right. No matter where she went someone would be after her. She wouldn’t sit still and let them get her.  
“Then why keep running? Why not come back to new York?” Steve pleaded. He was ready to pick her up and run her back to New York, even if it was an impossible idea.  
“I don't know, maybe I like the thrill. I feel like if got comfortable some how I've lost,” Natasha said bluntly. Steve could tell she was being honest.  
“Lost what?” Steve wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her she would be safe with him.  
“My freedom,” Just like that, Natasha said two words and Steve could see the real Natasha. 

They just starred at each other for awhile. Eventually the club began to close up and Steve and Natasha were standing outside. The city lights of Paris shinning on them. Steve, like a gentlemen draped his jacket over her shoulders. Her eyes thanked him. Steve smoothly slipped his hand into Natasha's and the two of them began to walk. Natasha wasn't quite sure we're they were headed. When then arrived at the front of Steve's hotel Natasha was shocked. Steve had defiantly matured over the past few months. They made there way into the elevator. 

"You look beautiful," Steve smiled. She really did, it was like a dream and Steve wasn't interested in waking up anytime soon.   
"Steve what are we doing here?" Natasha's words were distant again. She didn't want to let her guard down. She wasn't sure what giving in would do to her. 

Natasha really didn't have a choice because Steve was already standing in front of her. He gently lifted up her chin and leaned forward. The moment engulfed the two of them. His breath was warm as he kissed here neck. Natasha let out a little moan, that made a smile spread across Steve’s face. They pulled away once the elevator dinged. They were at Steve’s floor. The two exited the elevator and headed towards the door to Steve’s room. Steve slid a card through lock and opened the door. Natasha entered and Steve followed behind her shutting the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha makes a decision of whether to go back to New York or stay running.

The sun began to rise and light shone through Steve’s hotel room. He smiled as he looked at Natasha. She was sleeping soundlessly, with the sheet barely covering her bare back. He had never seen her sleep so calm, she was always on edge. So it made Steve smile to know that being with him made her calm. It had been a wonderful night. After the two walked into the hotel room, they made their way to the bedroom. Steve had slipped her dress straps off her shoulders. The dress had fallen to the ground. At the same time Natasha was unbuttoning Steve’s shirt revealing his fine built. Steve manoeuvred Natasha to the bed bringing the two of them closer and closer together. Natasha slid Steve’s pants off. Steve looked in Natasha’s eyes and she nodded. Suddenly Steve was inside of her. A rush of warmth raced through her body. And as Steve began to thrust Natasha couldn’t help but moan. Now lying a sleep Steve noticed how delicate Natasha looked. Her soft skin and golden blonde hair made her seem so small. This was the Natasha he had always wanted to see. 

“Morning Captain,” Natasha yawned as she rolled over exposing her bare breasts.  
“How’d you sleep?” Steve asked moving a strand of hair out of Natasha’s face.  
“Do you have to ask?” Natasha smiled and Steve nodded, “I slept amazing. I actually slept.”

Natasha then got up and walked to the washroom. Steve then heard the shower start. Then Natasha’s head popped out of the bathroom door and she said “You gonna join Cap?” She then revealed a flirtatious smile. Steve quickly stood up and made his way to the shower. Natasha greater him with a warm embrace. As the two re entered the bedroom both clothed in fluffy white robes. Natasha walked over and grabbed her dress and slipped back into it. Steve quickly got dressed as he noticed the smile was fading from Natasha’s face. He could tell what she was thinking. She didn’t want to go back to New York. 

“Natasha,” Steve gestured to help zip up the back of her dress.  
“I can’t go with you. I can’t go back to New York,” Natasha blurted out, she felt a weight being left of her chest. She new it was wrong of her to sleep with Steve.  
“I don’t understand Nat. What about last night?” Steve was hurt, yet again. Why did he keep letting Natasha be like this to him?  
“Last night was amazing, wonderful, any adjective that means beyond great. But,” Natasha was stopped in her words by Steve placing a finger on her lips.  
“Don’t say but Natasha. I may have found you because I needed you. I need you to be with me. But your team also wants you back. We all need you to stop running. I need you stop running. Am I not worth it?” Steve was really trying to dig deep and finally express how he felt. He could tell his last comments shocked Natasha, as she didn’t answer right away.  
Moments later Natasha responded, “Steve you’re worth everything.”  
“Then come back with me. please,” this was Steve’s last hope. He knew if he lost Natasha now he would never find her again.

Natasha was thinking, thinking really hard. There were pros and cons to both options. If she left Steve here, she knew she would be free from her past forever. Steve would get the point that she didn’t want it to work, and that she wanted to be alone and start over. However now she wasn’t sure she wanted to run from her whole past. She has strong feelings for Steve. The hard part is she doesn’t want to be in a position where she could lose him or he could lose her. She wasn’t sure about the world anymore. It may have been dangerous before but it was catastrophic. Her past was out there for the world to see, and she knew being with Steve meant she couldn’t hide the parts that made her cringe from him. So know she had a choice, go on and be alone and be somewhat safe, or be with Steve and be happy but be a direct target.

“Let’s go then,” Natasha answered.  
“Are you serious?” Steve was shocked. He was ready to here I can’t.  
“Yes, but one condition,” Natasha paused, “When we go back I don’t want us to expose whatever we figure out is going on between us. I would prefer if for a while we keep this behind closed doors. I just want my transition back to New York to be simple.”  
“Natasha as long as I can have you back in New York I’ll do anything,” Steve was beyond happy, he pulled Natasha in and hugged her tightly planting a kiss on her head.

Natasha then took Steve back to where she was staying to pack up her belongings. Steve had gotten them two seats on a plane back to New York. Both of them slept most of the time on their way home. Steve would fill Natasha in on what everyone was up to and who was joking at who. It made her smile to hear of how well everyone was doing. It also made her smile to see how genuinely happy Steve was. She could tell which part of the stories Steve was telling he liked best because he would give her hand little squeezes. Natasha’s mind drifted off to the idea of suiting up again. It had been a while since she slipped on the Black Widow costume. She had begun to not even think of herself as the Black Widow anymore. When they arrived in New York several hours later, Natasha asked that they just go Steve’s apartment and they’ll catch up with everyone tomorrow. Steve agreed as he noticed how exhausted she looked. He then realized how exhausted he was as well.

When Natasha walked inside Steve’s apartment it was everything she thought it would be. Simple, kind of old looking, it was very Steve. Steve had made joke of it not being her taste. Natasha laughed. Steve hopped in the shower. Natasha had made her way over to Steve’s wardrobe and reached for a t-shirt to wear to bed. As she stuck her hand in the drawer, her hand felt paper. When she pulled it out she noticed it was the file on James. Her stomach instantly churned. She had forgotten about Steve’s other big mission. Natasha wondered if he had really stopped looking for James. She wasn’t exactly sure what she would do if he continued. Natasha then moved over to the bed and crawled under the covers. Steve’s bed was warm. When Steve got out of the shower and changed for bed he saw Natasha was already asleep. He shut off all the lights and crawled in. He kissed her forehead and went to sleep. 

“One hundred, one hundred and one,” Natasha was woken by a sound coming from the kitchen. As she got up she noticed it was Steve doing push ups.  
“Can I have one of you for breakfast because you look so damn tasty,” Natasha said with a sinful smile as she walked past Steve in the kitchen.  
Steve laughed, “I think you should stick to waffles. So when do you think you want to go over to Avengers Tower?”  
“I guess soon. You have to rip of the bandaid at some point,” Natasha’s tone became more serious.  
“Nat we can go whenever. There’s know rush, whenever you’re ready,” Steve moved in front of Natasha who was sitting on the counter.  
“I’m ready Steve, really. It may be a surprise to you but I’ve thought of coming back before,” Natasha was being honest. She had meet up with Clint a couple times in her time apart from everyone. Seeing Clint always reminded her of the good times they all used to have. 

Natasha then draped her arms around Steve’s neck and pulled him for a kiss. Which lead to more then the both of them were expecting. 

“Well should we get ready to go Cap?” Natasha asked as she was laying on top of Steve’s naked body on the kitchen floor.  
“We probably should it’s getting kind of cold,” Steve made a shivering action. Natasha laughed.

The two of them got up. They showered (separately), got changed and headed out of Steve’s apartment. They took a cab over to the tower. Steve held Natasha’s hand the whole time. He could tell she wasn’t as calm about the whole situation as she acted. While Steve thanked and tipped the cab driver, Natasha stood at the front of Avenger’s tower looking up. It was big and modern and everything you’d expect from Tony. Steve was about to walk up and hold her hand when he remembered their relationship was supposed to be a secret right now. He couldn’t help but think for how long. The two walked into the tower and into the elevator. 

“Good morning, Jarvis take me the main floor,” Steve asked.  
“Certainly Mr. Rodgers,” Jarvis responded.  
“You ready?” Steve asked as they reached their stop.  
“Ready as I’ll ever be I guess,” Natasha’s nerves were setting in. She really hoped this was the right choice.

The elevator door open and the two of them walked out. When they entered the main room Natasha realized everyone was there eating breakfast. Once she entered the room she could feel everyone’s eyes on her. She really, really hoped this was the right choice.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha walks back into Avenger's HQ for the first time since she left.

The room was silent, except for the sound of Clint’s fork dropping. Nobody said anything, because no one new what to say. Do they run to Natasha with open arms, thanking her for coming back? Natasha on the other hand felt her chest deepen. This was the wrong mistake she was sure of it. Steve had left her side and proceeded into the room. She had almost forgotten it was her idea not to be a couple in public. Natasha had to break the silence.

“Don’t all speak up at once,” Natasha smirked. Her wit was her only asset in awkward situations.  
“Tash, are you back? For real?” Clint was rushed with emotions of his best friend finally being back in New York.  
“Well we’ll see, I’ve never been one for promises,” Her slyness was oozing out of her. She was a little shocked of how confident she sounded.  
“Alright then Ms. Romanoff glad to have you back. Now if you wouldn’t mind could you grab me a cup of coffee?” Tony smiled, he was trying to get a rise out her.  
“Sorry Tony but I’m not your assistant nor was I ever. Remember I was set to rate your capabilities and if I’m not correct you failed,” Natasha joked. She had walked up to the counter and sat beside Clint.

Everyone went on as they normally did. Bruce and Tony walked off to the lab to do what they did. Thor had only been joining breakfast via Tony’s enhanced world to world FaceTime, so after they ate he had to go off. Steve had left and went to the gym. It was just Clint and Natasha left.

“So what really made you come back?” Although he was happy of his best friend’s return, he wasn’t to sure what the reason for the return was, “You walk in with Cap, are you leading me to suspect something?”

“Cap and I like that would ever happen. However he did find me to ask me to return,” Natasha was reluctant to tell anyone of her and Steve.

“I’ve seen you since you left and you never returned? What’s so special about him?” Clint was angry. He didn’t love Natasha in a possessive way but she was his family, and he could tell she was holding back,

“First you never asked me to return. You knew I needed my space. That doesn’t mean that when I saw I didn’t think of coming back, It just wasn’t the right time. Second I think Cap needs my help. I know he’s quote ‘given up hope on finding Bucky’ but I think that’s a lie,” Part of Natasha knew she was telling the truth. She wasn’t sure Steve was done searching.

“Tash are you sure you want to help with that? Does he know about your past with Bucky?” Clint was worried that his friend was getting in way to deep.

“I’m not sure. I just thought I’d come back and see how things go. I’ll go see Fury get suited up and hopefully go on some missions. If Steve decides to open that thread again I’m not sure I can stay back and not help,” Natasha was being honest. If Steve and her were to move on and be happy together she knew the James mission had to be finished. 

“If you need anything remember I’m here for you, always,” Clint was sincere. He never worried about anyone the way he did about Natasha, “Also I should probably let you know before Stark does and makes some indecent comment. Tonight the tower is having a gala, black tie and everything, to celebrate something remarkable that Bruce and Tony did.”

“That’s just what Tony needs, something else to inflate his ego,” Natasha wasn’t the least bit surprised, “But it sounds fun. It’ll give me a good environment I guess to reconnect with people.”

“Would you like me to escort you? Completely plutonic of course,” A smile crept up on Clint’s face. He couldn’t believe how old fashion he sounded.

“Well aren’t you a gentleman. How about I meet you at your place and I’ll escort you,” Natasha wasn’t going to let him get the last joke.

“Sounds like a plan Romanoff, You’ll know where to find me,” Clint then kissed Natasha on the cheek and headed to the elevator. 

Natasha was glad her and Clint could be like this. Everything between was so easy, even in difficult situations. Although they weren’t in love, Natasha did love Clint. He was her family and the only person who truly knows her. She new it was going to kill Steve that he had to go without her. But the two of them together was a to big of a target. She also didn’t want their first public outing to be a gala. Natasha didn’t feel like staying at Avengers HQ so she headed back to Steve’s. Plus she had to search through her clothes to find a dress for the gala. Even with Shield gone things still felt the same. Part of Natasha wasn’t sure she liked it. She had changed so much over the past few months that coming back to the past felt weird. She sent Steve a text to let him know where she was. The last thing she needed was him freaking out when he couldn’t find her at the tower. 

Steve returned home a couple hours later. When he walked in he was surprised. Natasha was wearing a long black dress that had a plunging neck line and a slit up the side. Many people couldn’t pull this look off, but Natasha was an exception. A very sexy exception. The most surprising aspect of the look was the vibrant hue of red hair. Her hair was red again Steve thought. She looked like the Black Widow in all her glory.

“I think I need to sit down and catch my breath,” Steve said walking up to give Natasha a kiss.

Natasha was startled by his presence, “Oh sorry, I was just getting ready for tonight.”

“I’m not one to sound full of themselves but we are going to be the best looking couple there,” Steve chuckled.

“Steve, we talked about this. I’m not ready for everyone to know about us. People already have their suspicions. Plus I’m taking Clint actually,” Natasha stood in front of Steve biting her lip. 

Steve’s face was no longer smiling, “You’re taking Clint? So you can be seen in public with him and it’s okay. But with me it’s a tragedy?” 

“Damnit Steve, it’s not like that. Everyone in their right mind knows there is nothing between Clint and I. Were family,” Natasha was frustrated. How dare Steve try to make something out of her relationship with Clint.

“So I’m supposed to believe that there’s nothing between the two of you? And that you would wear a dress like that and go with a friend?” Steve wanted to retract the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.

“I’m not even going to deal with this. I got to go,” Natasha picked up her clutch and passed right by Steve. She headed straight for the door and left. 

Steve felt like a complete ass. He knew Natasha and Clint’s relationship wasn’t like their relationship. He just could’t help but get jealous, she was a beautiful women. A beautiful women going to a party with another man, when really she was with him. Steve screwed up and knowing how stubborn Natasha is, he couldn’t imagine how long she’d be angry for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you want to see happen at the gala?


	4. Chapter 4

Although she was angry when Natasha walked up to Clint’s door she had to change her mood. She was wise enough to know Clint would see her face and know something was wrong, and there was know way she could explain why she was angry. Nobody knew about her and Steve, so for right now she had to hide her feelings (as if she ever really exposed them). She knocked on the door, no answer. She pounded on the door, no answer. She yelled Clint’s name, still no answer. Where the hell was he? Then Natasha had a revelation, Clint had said “You’ll know where to find me.” Natasha headed for the window at the end of the hall, being a old building it didn’t take much fidgeting with the lock to open it. Moments later Natasha had scaled the building and was standing on the roof. There he was standing waiting for her.

“It took you long enough. For a second there I thought I might of had to climb down,” Clint laughed greeting his friend with a hug, “But then again you do look stunning, maybe I was wrong for letting you pick me up.”

“Thank you,” Natasha smiled, “And remember you’re not letting me pick you up, I chose to pick you up.”

“It’s like nothing has ever changed with you Tash, and I love it,” Clint was happy.

Natasha gave Clint a sincere smile. The two then headed off the roof and to the gala. Natasha looked out the window of the car the whole ride there. Clint just sat silently holding Natasha’s hand. For most people the silence would drive them crazy but silence was the best aspect of Clint and Natasha’s friendship. Each of them knew words could get you into trouble. And one day the other one might not be around, and all they would have left is silence. So this is their way of making it easier for each other when one of them is gone, they’ll always remember each other in the silence. 

When they arrived at the tower photographers were everyone. This embodied Tony completely, (there was no way Bruce had a say in any of this). Natasha and Clint walked right past all the action, Natasha keeping her head down. The last thing she needed was more pictures circling of her whereabouts. They stepped into the elevator and headed for the 20th floor. As they walked into the large room both of them noted how spectacular it looked. They knew this was the work of Pepper. Tony may bring the advertisement but Pepper brought the style (and management). 

“Ah Robin Hood and the Itsy Bitsy Spider, you showed up,” Tony said humbly.

“You know if this weren’t your’s and BRUCE’S night, Natasha and I would be more then happy to beat the shit out of you,” Clint responded with a stern look on his face. Natasha couldn’t help but laugh.

“Relax, this is a formal gathering know need to get hasty. Why don’t the two of you go see Cap and the others,” Tony gave a slick smile and headed off to greet more people.

“What a conceded lunatic,” Clint chuckled.

“Well in his defence,” Natasha paused, “what am I saying, you’re right.”

“Shall we go over and see the others,” Clint held up his hand to Natasha.

“I guess so,” Natasha was reluctant to go. The last person she wanted to see was Steve.

When they walked over to the group Natasha and Clint smiled and said hello. Maria asked how Natasha was, she responded with good. Maria said Furry needed to talk to her about her plans for missions and such. Though she mentioned Furry wasn’t here for obvious reasons and that the conversation can be had another day. Natasha thanked her. Bruce discussed a little bit about what the gala was for. To be honest the others weren’t equip with the language to follow. Through out of all the conversations being had Steve kept quite, his eyes were focused on Natasha. How natural she acted. He knew she had to be angry, but damn she was doing an amazing job of covering it up. Clint then interrupted and asked Natasha if she wanted to dance. Natasha could’t of been happier, she felt suffocated answering questions and having Steve’s eye’s almost burn a hole in her. Mid way through them dancing Steve interrupted Clint and Natasha.

“May I steal your date for dance Barton?” Steve asked in a gentleman approach.

“If any other man tried to steal my date I’d say no, but since you’re the Captain sure,” Clint was clueless.

Natasha was angry, very angry. How could Steve just do that. Does he really think she’s going to talk to him here? He must be insane.

“You look beautiful and I’m sorry,” Steve said placing one hand on Natasha’s hip and picked up her hand with the other.

“Rodger’s I’m not going to do this here. And sorry doesn’t fix everything, life isn’t black and white anymore,” Natasha scoffed. 

Steve winced at the sound of her calling him Rodgers, “Nat I don’t no what else to say. I was wrong, I know your relationship with Clint is nothing like ours. I can’t help myself if I got jealous it’s natural.”

“Don’t start using psychological bullshit on me. Steve can you just leave me alone,” Natasha’s whispers were almost breaking out into shouts.

“Is there something else bothering you because this seems to be more then what I said earlier,” Steve was anxious and confused. 

“Steve I need to know are you done,” Natasha was looking him right in the eyes.

“Done what Natasha?” Steve was dumbfounded.

“Are you done looking for James,” the words came out of Natasha’s mouth like vomit. She quickly remembered that she had only ever called him Bucky to Steve.

“James? You mean Bucky?” Natasha nodded, “I told you I was done looking for him, that’s why I went to find you. I realized what was important Nat, you!”

“Then why did I find the files in your closet. Why were they full of new information? Why would you still have them if you’re not looking?” Natasha was furious.

“I can’t answer all that. At least not here,” Steve could sense the panic in her. Truthfully Steve wasn’t sure if he was done looking yet. Now that he had Natasha back the only thing better would be to have his best friend back as well. And the way she said James rang in his head.

“Then I have to go,” Natasha broke from the dance, “and please Steve if you respect me don’t follow me.”

Steve watched Natasha walk off the dance floor. All he could do was pray she wasn’t walking out of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was short as it is building up to what is happening next, it will have to do with James. Thanks! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James finds Natasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I've been trying to think of where I want the story to go  
> Hope you all enjoy it! :)

Natasha walked out of Avenger’s HQ. As she was walking down the sidewalk she kept thinking about Steve and how bad of a liar he was. Had this job taught him nothing? She was hoping he didn’t catch onto her saying James. That was the last thing she ever wanted to explain to anyone. How could she explain it to Steve and have him look at her the same. She’s known about his best friend all this time. Although technically when she knew James Steve wasn’t really his best friend. During her walk she realized she didn’t know where to go. There was no way she was going to Steve’s and if she went to Clint’s he would eventually get the truth out of her. Natasha walked far enough to get to a hotel. She paid in cash so that no one could track her. 

Natasha got out of the shower, comb back her hair and slipped on a white fluffy robe. She changed into some clothes that she picked up on her way to the hotel and strapped on her weapons. Frustrated she stepped onto the balcony and breathed in the fresh air. It was refreshing. Suddenly cold metal was pressed against her mouth and a gun pointed into her back. Instantly she knew, James. Natasha then arched her back and kicked her foot, making contact with James’s knee. She heard him wince as he crashed to the ground. Pathetic. Natasha stood above him pointing a loaded gun at his head. She could hear him panting for breathe.

“How did you find me and why?” Natasha’s face never broke. She was beginning to wonder when she lost her compassion, was it really the red room that did this to her? or was this always her fate?

“Please don’t,” James pleaded, “You need me. I thought you would remember the gun to the back it was our secret greeting, remember?”

Natasha winced, memories of the two of them were flooding her mind, “It’s hard to remember things about us.”

“I understand. Just please put down the gun and I’ll explain everything,” James was scared, he knew Natasha was strong; he had watched her kill for years. 

“Fine, I’ll give you one chance. Explain to me why you left. I was dying and you left me. You left me laying grappling for air,” Natasha released the word she always wanted to say.

“I don’t no what to say Natalia, our leaders were asking to much from me. They were questioning me about us, we knew us being together was against the rules. I was worried about what they would do to you if they found out. I had been forced before to kill my partners, I couldn’t be put in that situation with you. You were also better than that place Nat. If I couldn’t leave I least wanted you to go,” James took a deep breath, “So the mission, I had planned for it to go wrong. I only meant for you to get hurt, not near death. But when everything went down the way it did, there wasn’t a chance for me to change my mind. I ran and went back to HQ. I told everyone that there was no way you could of survived the blow. Then things in the red room changed, who we started to work for changed. I had no clue who you were when I shot you, I was surprised that you ever joined shield. I couldn’t believe you didn’t realize the bigger picture. However the way you moved reminded me of the past and I pulled the trigger,” James exhaled.

“I didn’t have a choice about joining shield. It was either that or death. So what’s your plan now and does it involve Steve?” Natasha wasn’t sure what to make of James’s explanation. 

“That’s a good question. I’m not even sure, I don’t even know what to do. Live a normal life?” He paused and chuckled, “We both no that can’t happen.”

“Well then I’ll do you a favour, I won’t kill you. We can part here and go on to act like we never knew each other,” Natasha’s body tensed up has he walked towards her.

“What do you mean? Natalia I found you, because I thought,” He was quickly cut off by Natasha.

“You thought what? That I would go back with you, good god James. There’s nothing between you and I, as far as I’m concerned that part of my life doesn’t exist. And my name is Natasha, Natalia doesn’t exist anymore,” Natasha brushed past him and headed to the door.

“Wait! Your leaving? What am I supposed to do?” James panicked.

“I don’t no James. When you figure out your next move however, don’t tell Steve we knew each other,” Natasha felt pain creep up her chest.

“Don’t tell Steve, what the hell does that mean?” James was confused. Was there something between the two of them?

“James, don’t tell Steve,” Natasha opened the door and walked down the hallway. 

 

*************************************************************************************************************

 

Natasha left the hotel and headed for Steve’s apartment. She waited on the roof of the building across from his. She was checking to see if he was home or not. An hour or so later Steve had exited the building and got on his motorcycle. Natasha quickly scampered across the street and up the back fire escape of Steve’s building. Natasha entered through the window in Steve’s bedroom. The room was messy and it looked like he had a rough night. Remembering why she was there, Natasha headed over to her bag. She checked and made sure all her passports and such were there. She zipped up the bag and swung it onto her back and headed to the window. Just when she thought she was going to make a clean break when she heard Steve’s voice.

“Natasha,” Steve shouted, “What the hell is going on?”


End file.
